Really, the Dell Inspiron 700m has TWO memory slots for a max of 2GB

So my faithful little Dell Inspiron 700m laptop finally waved the white flag in the face of burgeoning memory requirements from many  programs that shall remain nameless, rude programs, Microsoft saying What The Hell to a zillion instances of the same program, and ramping memory leaks from other commonly used programs.

If I leave my computer for a while, that whole glacial crawl thing happens, and I finally got sick of apologizing for the wait when attempting to show pictures to my family.  Horrible.

So, how much memory can you put in an Inspiron 700m?  I didn’t realize it would be a difficult and contentious question.

Let’s Debug It: My Demon Car Responds Innocently, Oh, You Want Heat?

My evil car knows I get cold easily, and it purposely screws with me when I desperately need hurricane winds of hot toasty air. “No heat for YOU” in its best Soup Nazi sneer, armrests crossed and headlights rolling in the air. “I just don’t feel like it right now.”

Northbranch Park. When I was *prepared* for the icicles.

Last spring, I jumped into my car, damp from a light afternoon shower and jacked up the heat. It was overcast but about 70ºF outside. Brrr – I was chilled! But when when I maxed out the temperature (90ºF) my car refused to emit the anticipated waves of warmth. Grrrr.

The gas tank was full, car nicely washed and detailed, clean air filter and sated with meandering drives in the country: she should be happy and content. But nooo, she’d gone bipolar and my car insurance doesn’t cover mental health.

Let’s Debug It: A Rabid War between Technology and Nature (Jet Skis vs Mangroves)

When I didn’t duck my head low enough this morning, the people-eating mangroves ripped off my hat and some hair, snagged my Jet Ski’s tow line and skidded me into the jail-like root system. Then the engine wouldn’t start. Gah gah gah gah. And I was WAY to far into the twisted passages for my husband to reach me by boat.

Gah gah gah gah. I was to get very familiar with this sound.

Let’s Debug It: Alaskan Scuba Stuff and iPods Don’t Exercise

Christmas Tree Worms

Photographers who drag electronics underwater tempt fate. Camera equipment requires special attention; gentle words of encouragement. I’ve had problems which occasionally prevent me from taking pictures, but one nagged me at the start of our Alaskan dive trip.

When we arrived, I was shocked to find beautiful colors and corals in Alaska that dwarf the beauty of many Caribbean sights. One of the few times I’ve see that many vivid colors in once place in my life!

But while attempting to capture this beauty as I was being swept along a steep wall, my strobe (flash) went temperamental and decided to flash only when it felt like it.

“WHY NOW?!?” I screamed through my regulator. “I NEED PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE OF THIS BEAUTY! No one will believe this is Alaska!”

Rant: Practical Education for Computer Science and My Practical Response

In the same issue of JackGanssle‘s Embedded Muse newsletter where he reviewed my book, he let me rant on about the state of computer science/engineering education and its disconnect with industry needs.

He had mused in an earlier newsletter article when (and what type of) programming languages should be taught at the university level. He proposed banishing all such courses until Junior year so students can learn more about decision-making, methodologies and real design, rather than just cranking out code. His article struck a real nerve with me.

I blathered on for a bit, but apparently coherently enough that he decided to print my response.

Jack Ganssle’s Review of My Book

JackGanssle presented a book review of my book, If I Only Changed the Software, Why is the Phone on Fire? in his latest Embedded Muse Newsletter #174.

An except from Jack’s review:

Engineers are famous for being very bright but also for lacking basic writing skills. Yet writing is still our primary means of communication, so we buy heavy tomes created without the benefit of basic grammar and often bereft of a coherent structure. Storyline? Character development? Forget it.

Welcome to a very different kind of technical book. Lisa Simone’s work isn’t the usual dreary tome stuffed with arcane wisdom buried beneath paragraph-length sentences seemingly written by someone just learning English as a second language. This is certainly the first embedded book with characters. The first with action, and with interesting and cool stories.

Bad code that makes a phone burst into flames?

What fun!

And yes, at one point in my sordid technical past, I did have to debug a very hot phone.

After successfully (I hope!) hiding the problem from potential customers at an international trade show in Singapore. Thankfully, the phones were displayed on marble tables – very good for heat dissipation between hurried demonstrations!

Let’s Debug It: A Cat’s Plea to Microsoft – “Can You Hear Me Now?”

I wrote before about my computer wasting CPU cycles by phoning home to HP.

I also wrote about my cat deleting important files and emailing government agencies in my absence. Josie-the-Editor’s subterfuge continued in her quest for increased thermo intake courtesy of my oh-so-toasty keyboard. But yet again I forgot to “retire” my computer for the evening, granting her leave to further exploit my foolishness.

I awoke last week to find my computer at a near complete standstill. Oooooh no. But Type A that I am, I scrambled for print-screens, suspecting a repeat performance of HP’s Calls to the Mothership. But the system was so clogged it took me 15 minutes of patiently moving the mouse 2 inches, waiting 20 seconds to see where it landed, readjusting, etc., until I was just over the button to frantically SAVE!

The little voice in the back of my head nagged, JUST REBOOT AND CUT THIS CRAP OUT!

I refused.

Let’s Debug It: “No Ma’am (Idiot), You’re Calling from Line 2”

Subtitle: Awarding Jobs to the Lowest Bidder

For years Verizon has subtly questioned my ability to use my own two-line phone.

It came to a head when the kids moved out, we trashed DSL and switched to cable modem. No longer needed two phone lines. So I called Verizon on our main line to turn off Line 2. Finally (I cheered internally), the end of 10 long years suffering through Verizon’s insistence that in fact, Ma’am, you are calling me from Line 2. I’d given up arguing the “Line 1 vs. Line 2” nonsense, but now that I wanted Line 2 turned off, I figured it was a good idea to “confirm” somehow.

So for the zillionth time I responded, resigned, “No, I’m calling from Line 1. This is the phone that rings when people call our main number.”

“No Ma’am, you are calling from Line 2.” (Unspoken on her side I imagine, “This lady is an idiot.”)

Sigh. “Cancel Line 2.” I confirmed the telephone number. Fingers crossed. Five days later, Line 2 was truly dead. “dee Dee DEE, The number you have dialed….” Amazingly, Verizon actually turned off the right one.

But now Line 1 rang busy. Forever.

Let’s Debug It: My Computer Plays “I’m Ignoring You Now”

I wrote most of my book on a little Dell Inspiron 700m, carrying it in my backpack all over creation. It’s a lightweight little thing with a great screen and 5 hours of run time on the extended battery. Delayed flights, no problem. Writing on the patio, no problem.

Sweet.

But sometimes when I’m pursuing a life outside the office, it spins into overdrive, cranking the disk and fan up into a frenzy. And when I return, the CPU Usage is pegged at 100%.

What the heck is it doing, I wonder? Is it more productive than *I* am? Well, could be when I’m surfing icanhascheezburger, but when I look away it may be stuck on the home shopping channel.

Does your computer misbehave behind your back? Today I decided see where my computer wanders, using a little deduction and some pretty simple tools.

Let’s Debug It: Keyboards and Endothermic Mammals

First, recognize that in any disagreement with a Cat, the Cat will Win.

The main character of my book, Josie, was named after my oldest cat. My tiny little girl going on 13 who still jumps, plays, zips around and insists on her treats at EXACTLY 7:30 each night. But she’s gotten older, perhaps stiffer, and as such, she’s sought out the warmest areas in the house to snooze.

And then she discovered my laptop computer.

How do you stop a clever cat from using your laptop as a Really Nice and Warm Bed? While also preventing the sending of salacious emails to your co-workers?